Ok, so I’ve got an obsession with the twins. Not because I’m pervy but because I’ve got them and they are hard to manage. Victoria doesn’t make secrets big enough, keeping them locked down is an expensive proposition, and they just look massive when clad in the typical lingerie offerings. Frankly, I want to be a hot mama like all the girls with perky girls that don’t take any more than a ribbon and some wishful thinking to keep them upright.

So, in the spirit of Norma, who taught me to wing it if no one makes it, I’ve been winging it. I started with the Vogue pattern on the left. 8360 if I squint my eyes. It’s out of print – I looked for it online on Saturday. If you look real close, you can see my rationale. It’s got an under-bust piece that kind of frames the girls. That’s it. That’s the pattern piece that I wanted it for.
To the right is the pattern piece that made the gathered insert. You can see that I split it in two and added about 5 inches of width so there would be enough fabric to go around the girls. The inches to add was captured by holding a measuring tape up to the girls and figuring out the difference between the size of the pattern piece and how much fabric was required to do the job right. Turns out about 5 inches for my particular set of assets.
So with the right sized pattern piece for the U-shaped under-bust element, I measured from my armpit to my waist and then extended the line of the pattern to my waist and flared over my hips.
I knew I wanted some support out of this nonsense, so I planned for a series of elastic strips to go down the back… Although it just occurred to me that it would have been way cuter to get round elastic bands and cross them in a mock lacing pattern. Oh well, I’ll do that for the next round. For now, this is the back of the top.

Wonder of all wonders, it fits. And it looks good. Seductive. But what to put under it? So I went digging through my patterns and came across Kwik Sew pattern 3167. I raised the waist for a slightly more retro look, measured from center front to center back to make the pattern larger (it was designed for 50% knits and I was using a tightly woven polyester) and put in a zipper. Welcome to pinstriped gangster wannabe hot pants.
The top is a lot of work to get into and out of. The bottoms are easy on, easy off. Which is, after all, the point of making your own lingerie.
I don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t look like much. I mean, I know it’s asset-friendly on, but maybe there is too much coverage for lingerie. But I’m not a supermodel and you’d need about $10m worth of diamonds to make a bra like this for me. And I’d still be worried about my Venus belly if I were wearing it. So clearly Vickie’s isn’t working on my behalf.
Enough with the self-doubt. I wanted to make something that was not for public consumption that holds up the girls tolerably well and doesn’t look like it’s held up by rebar. Not bad and frankly, I think it’s more flattering on me than some of the stuff I’ve bought.
So there.